Why Humanity Makes Everything A Waifu

I’ve noticed Princess Bowser getting BIG on the web-o-sphere, and so I used this as an excuse to talk about why the internet makes waifus out of everything.

Note: All art used in this article belongs to their respective artists, and their signatures are all there for you find.

Okay, so for context, this started when Nintendo announced a new item in the upcoming Mario game called the Super Crown, which works similar to the classic mushroom, except instead of making things bigger, it turns people into princesses. Toadette, upon wearing the crown, turns into Peachette, an alternate form of Princess Peach.

So obviously, the internet went wild with the idea and with this comic made by an artist called Ayyk92 on twitter, yet another new waifu meme has exploded in less than a week.

With that, the attempts of the internet to make everything that moves a cute anime girl continues!

This was always such an interesting phenomena for many reasons.

While humanity has been making things waifus for years now, ranging back to the very first people to make catgirls canon in our world through the Egyptians worshiping Bast,

It was only in recent times that the waifuization of literally everything has become pretty much mainstream. In today’s post, let’s discuss exactly why this is the case.

1. Empathy

There seems to be an inherent quality when it comes to making the most unusual things waifus that makes people empathize with them more. Most notable example of this would be Earth-chan of January fame.

After she existed, weebs were suddenly all about climate protection and anti-pollution. All we do know is that somehow, making things cute anime girls just triggers waves of empathy for our weeb hearts and brains. It’s a historically proven fact that humans want to make things look like them so they can better understand it. See Bast above and “The Motherland Calls” statue for real life examples.

2. It’s Hot

The second reason, of course, is the unadulterated urge of humanity to lewd everything that they possibly can.

It’s not a very difficult concept to understand. Making things into cute anime girls is bound to be caused, no matter how small, by a primal urge to marry/have sex with something.

You all know she definitely has a dragon-turtle dick and that you just think that makes it better.

The above pic was drawn by the Dagashi Kashi author. On my twitter just about every mangaka I follow is drawing or retweeting pics of this chick. The fact that mainstream manga artists are taking part in what is essentially a silly meme is a wonder for the meme and for my pants.

Link to artist since they didn’t have a signature on their pic

3. It Sells

Even corporations know the marketing power of waifus. I’d wager to say waifus account for at least 99.9% of all anime industry revenue (with the 0.1% being Shounen Jump sales).

Inori Aizawa is the officially licensed anime girl form of the infamous Internet Explorer browser. Such was Microsoft’s faith in the power of moe that they even funded a short film starring her!

4. It’s Hilarious

The concept of making the most unexpected things cute anime girls has this surreal and ridiculous humor to it. I mean, internet browsers, fast food chains, and the solar system itself, a lot of the fun factor for these waifus is seeing just how far we are willing to go in pursuit of kawaii goodness.

Wendy’s is the best example of this. The idea of an intern doing all that snarkiness is funny enough. However, making the literal Wendy, a girl who grew up in the 60s based on a real person, into a modern snarky millenial anime girl, tickles something in my funny bone I didn’t know I had.

Conclusion

The explosion of this waifu culture in recent times is a perfect example of humans pouring so much effort into just giving up. What does it say about us as a human race that we would just make a concept into a girl just so we can better empathize with it? I have no clue.

All I know is I found this album by the esteemed u/HighSlayerRalton from reddit with 289 pictures of Princess Bowser already on it within mere days of Princess Bowser existing and that both scares and arouses me.

I’ll be in another castle now.

-TLM